You don’t have the business you want because you don’t love yourself.
I know that sounds harsh, but I need you to sit with that for a minute. You’re not obsessed with yourself. You’re not obsessed with your life. And that’s exactly why your DMs are silent, your sales are stuck, and people see you as just another entrepreneur instead of THE one they need.
I discovered this brutal truth after spending two years doing everything the gurus told me to do. Posted daily on social media. Meditated religiously. Started a blog. Built out Pinterest. Had all the right strategies and systems in place.
My sales were still pathetic. My newsletter sign-ups crawled at snail pace. People would comment « Oh my god, you’re so inspiring! » but nobody was buying anything. The only messages I got were from other coaches trying to sell ME their services.
They didn’t see me as a leader. They didn’t see me as the one. And I couldn’t figure out why.
The Real Problem Nobody Talks About
You can’t build your dream life when you’re hiding from yourself. You can’t scale your business when you don’t even like who you are right now.
The issue isn’t that you don’t know your ideal client. The issue is that you don’t know who YOU are. You can’t be authentic if you don’t love what you’re doing. You can’t charge premium prices when you don’t believe you’re worth them.
How to overcome the insecurity starts with understanding this: you’re waiting to hit certain revenue milestones before you’ll allow yourself to feel valuable. You think you need that 10K month, 20K month, 50K month before you can finally love yourself and increase your prices.
But that’s backwards. The way you see yourself right now is completely disconnected from your potential and what you deserve. You want the penthouse, the dream house, to travel the world, maybe even buy your parents a house, but you don’t know who you are.
You’re not obsessed with yourself. And that’s killing your business.
My Wake-Up Call
My problem was thinking I wasn’t enough because of how I looked. I felt like I needed to lose weight before I could show up 100%. I was hiding behind my insecurities instead of building the business I wanted.
I could stay a victim of my circumstances and say « People don’t love me because of how I look » or « People don’t follow me because I’m not perfect yet. » Even when I wasn’t showing my face, just writing, it felt like everyone could sense that I didn’t believe I was the one.
But I knew my value was real. People were literally stealing my ideas and implementing them successfully. It wasn’t that my content was bad, it was how I was showing up. My energy was off because I didn’t love myself.
Everything changed when I decided to work on my identity. I started showing up as the person I wanted to be, not waiting until I felt « ready. »
The Identity Shift That Changes Everything
How to overcome the insecurity isn’t just about changing your diet and going to the gym (though I do that every day and lost 10 kilos). It’s about how you show up when the camera is off. How you present yourself. How you treat yourself.
I make up every day, even when I’m not recording content. Today I felt awful and was just wearing gym shorts (which are actually too big now because I’ve lost weight). I could have stayed in that energy, or I could wake up, put on makeup, wear a beautiful dress, and record my video feeling amazing.
That’s the difference. The new identity I’m building says, « I am the one. I love doing my makeup. I love having good hair. Furthermore, I love wearing nice dresses. » It’s not because I’ve reached my weight goal, I’m still losing weight. But I refuse to hide myself until I’m « perfect. »
When you start being obsessed with your life, you see immediate changes. Since I made this shift, my podcast has 1,000 listeners (and English isn’t even my native language). I have 200 people on my newsletter. I’m posting on TikTok again, doing YouTube videos, running my podcast. I’m happy because I see myself as the one.
Building vs. Scaling: The Obsession Factor
When you’re building your online business from scratch, how to overcome the insecurity looks like posting content even when you have 50 followers. It means charging your worth even when you’ve never made a sale. It’s about showing up as the expert before the world recognizes you as one.
But when you’re scaling your business, how to overcome the insecurity becomes about maintaining that energy at higher levels. It’s easy to love yourself when you’re making 2K months. It’s harder when you’re trying to go from 10K to 50K per months and the pressure intensifies.
Scaling requires you to build your dream life in real time, not wait until you’ve « made it. » The entrepreneur who scales successfully is obsessed with her life NOW, not obsessed with where she’ll be someday.
I see so many women who get stuck because they think they’ll start living their dream life once they hit six figures. They’ll upgrade their wardrobe once they make more money. They’ll invest in professional photos once they feel confident enough.
But that’s not how to overcome the insecurity. That’s how you stay stuck.
The Leadership Mindset Shift
Being a leader isn’t just about educating and being an authority. It’s about how you present yourself to the world. How you document your journey. How you try new things and share what’s happening in your life.
You need to start showing up as the leader before you see the results. I document my process not because I’ve arrived, but because I know my people need to see what transformation looks like in real time.
How to overcome the insecurity means understanding that leaders don’t wait for permission. They don’t wait until they feel ready. They don’t need everyone to understand their vision before they start executing it.
When people joke about your content or question your goals, you don’t cry for hours (okay, maybe five minutes). You get back to work because you’re a leader. They don’t see your vision, but the right people will.
The Truth About Maintenance
When I started losing weight and seeing results, I realized I needed to think about maintenance differently. Most people think maintenance is about skin care, hair, clothes, nails, the external stuff.
That’s fine, but real maintenance is about what’s inside you. Your mindset. Your feminine energy. Your ability to prioritize yourself and say no to others so you can say yes to yourself.
How to overcome the insecurity requires internal maintenance as much as external. You maintain your confidence the same way you maintain your health, daily practices that keep you aligned with who you’re becoming.
When you’re scaling your business, this maintenance becomes even more crucial. The higher your revenue goes, the more your old insecurities will try to surface. Your 50K month self will have different insecurities than your 5K month self, but the maintenance practices remain the same.
The Daily Practice of Self-Obsession
Some days I don’t love myself. Some days the insecurities creep back in. But on those days, I still go to the gym. I still eat healthy. I don’t stop eating what I love (ice cream and candy), but I eat smaller portions and I don’t shame myself for it.
I realized I was an emotional eater. When I wasn’t satisfied with my life, I was eating to fill the void. Now when I eat something indulgent, it’s because I actually want it and I’m going to enjoy it, not because I’m trying to numb feelings.
How to overcome the insecurity isn’t about perfection. It’s about consistency in your self-love practices even on the days when you don’t feel like it.
Build your dream life by treating yourself like someone who already has it. That means investing in yourself before you feel ready. Dressing like the successful woman you’re becoming. Speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d show your best friend.
The Business Results of Self-Love
I can assure you of this: when you’re happy with your life, you have more sales. When you love yourself, people can feel that energy through the screen. When you’re obsessed with your life, others become obsessed with following your journey.
The difference in my business results has been dramatic. Not because I changed my strategy, but because I changed my energy. People buy from people they want to be like, and nobody wants to be like someone who’s hiding from their own life.
Build your dream life and watch your business transform automatically. When you stop waiting for external validation to feel worthy, your content hits different. Your offers feel more magnetic. Your prices feel justified because YOU believe in your value.
If you want help to build your online course to start to create recurring income, you just need to check this.
Scaling Through Self-Obsession
The women who successfully scale their online businesses past six figures have one thing in common: they’re obsessed with their lives at every level. They don’t wait until they « make it » to start living like they’ve made it.
How to overcome the insecurity when scaling means understanding that each new level brings new fears. The fears you had at 5K months are different from the fears at 50K months. But the solution is the same: fall in love with yourself at every stage.
Build your dream life incrementally. Don’t wait until you have a seven-figure business to start enjoying your success. Don’t wait until you lose 20 kilos to start feeling beautiful. Don’t wait until you have 100K followers to start seeing yourself as influential.
The entrepreneur who scales successfully is the one who practices self-obsession daily, regardless of external circumstances. She maintains her standards, her energy, and her vision even when, especially when, nobody else understands what she’s building.
The Compound Effect of Self-Love
When you’re building your business, every day you choose self-love over self-criticism is a vote for your success. Every day you show up as the woman you’re becoming instead of hiding as the woman you think you are right now changes your trajectory.
Build your dream life through daily choices that reflect your future identity, not your current circumstances. The woman with the seven-figure business doesn’t wait until Monday to start eating well. She doesn’t wait until she feels confident to create content. She doesn’t wait until she’s « ready » to charge premium prices.
How to overcome the insecurity is a daily practice, not a one-time event. It’s choosing to put on the dress even when you don’t feel amazing. It’s launching the offer even when your sales page isn’t perfect. It’s raising your prices even when you’re scared nobody will pay.
The Ripple Effect
When you start being obsessed with your life, everything else falls into place. Your content gets better because you’re not hiding anymore. Your offers become more magnetic because you believe in your worth. Your audience grows because people are drawn to authentic confidence.
Build your dream life and you automatically give others permission to do the same. Document your journey of transformation and watch how it inspires others to stop hiding too.
How to overcome the insecurity isn’t selfish, it’s the most generous thing you can do. When you love yourself fully, you show up fully for your people. When you’re obsessed with your life, you create content that changes lives.
The business you want is waiting for you to stop hiding and start loving yourself enough to claim it. The clients you want to serve are looking for someone who’s already living the life they want to build.
Build your dream life now, not later. How to overcome the insecurity starts today, not tomorrow. Your business will only grow as much as your self-love allows it to.
Stop waiting. Start obsessing. Your empire depends on it.
Ready to stop hiding and start scaling? My newsletter is where I document the real journey of building a business while falling in love with yourself. No fairy tales, just the messy, beautiful truth about what it takes to build your dream life while building your dream business.
