Let’s face it: You’re not building the empire you dreamed of you’re running yourself into the ground. You wanted freedom, but now you feel like your to-do list owns you. You give, give, and give, waiting for some cosmic reciprocation that never comes. It’s not your fault; you’ve been conditioned to believe that being generous to others is what makes you worthy. But when you’re so busy pouring into everyone else’s cups, who’s filling yours?
I’ve been stuck in this cycle of second-guessing myself, battling insomnia, craving sugar, and pushing harder every day. Sound familiar? It’s that voice whispering, “Keep going; they need you!” But here’s the catch: when you’re always giving, you’re never replenishing. And when you’re always second-guessing yourself, you’re questioning the worth of what you give. It’s time to stop. Not because you’re selfish, but because your dreams are screaming for attention.
The Silent Pain of Giving Too Much
You wake up exhausted, already second-guessing yourself. “Did I answer all those DMs? Did I overpromise that client? Why does this feel like too much?”
The truth is, you’ve been operating from a place of fear. You’ve stretched yourself thin, prioritizing family, friends, clients—anyone but yourself. And what’s left? A frazzled, sugar-craving version of you who’s too tired to think creatively, let alone focus on scaling your business.
Sound familiar? That’s the cycle of giving too much.
- You feel stuck.
- You’re second-guessing your every move.
- You’re expecting too much from others, only to feel disappointed when they don’t show up the way you hoped.
This isn’t you failing. It’s the result of a pattern you didn’t even realize you were trapped in. Without boundaries, giving too much leads to burnout, resentment, and feeling perpetually unfulfilled. It’s a cycle: you give, expect, get let down, and then give more to overcompensate. Trust me, it’s not pretty.
Why Giving Too Much Feels Comfortable (But Isn’t)?
If you’re anything like me, you were probably conditioned to believe that putting yourself first is selfish. Be the good friend, the good daughter, the reliable one who always shows up. I wore that badge like armor until it started to weigh me down.
You see, giving too much can feel like control. It keeps us in our comfort zone because giving allows us to avoid vulnerability. When we give, we can focus on others instead of the messy, scary task of confronting our own needs and desires. But here’s the truth: giving too much keeps you small. It leaves you stuck, spinning your wheels, and wondering why everyone else seems to move forward while you stay in the same place
The Hustle That’s Actually Holding You Back
You started this journey to create freedom: waking up to sales notifications, making memories with family, and having the bandwidth to dream bigger. But instead, you’re trapped in an endless loop of over-giving. You’ve traded your time for money, convinced it’s the only way to “make it.”
Your limiting belief? If I don’t do it all, I’ll lose it all.
What they tell you? Just hustle harder, and it’ll pay off.
What you’re realizing? The more you give, the further you feel from your dreams.
You’re not crazy for feeling this way. But here’s the tough love: The more you over-give, the harder it is to scale, sell, and actually enjoy your life.
I felt this hard when my audience started messaging me, saying they missed my posts and podcasts. The truth? I didn’t have the energy to show up. Why? Because I had handed over my power to everyone else.
And guess what? When you’re giving too much, it’s easy to procrastinate on your own dreams. You tell yourself, “I’ll get to it when things calm down,” but they never do. Meanwhile, your vision board stays the same year after year, mocking you.
Why Giving Too Much Feeds Fear?
Giving too much comes with strings attached. Deep down, you’re expecting something in return: validation, gratitude, or at least the sense that you’re doing it “right.” But when those expectations aren’t met, you spiral. You’re left feeling unappreciated, resentful, and yes, a little stuck.
And let’s talk about second-guessing yourself: Every time you try to pull back and focus on your goals, that little voice pipes up.
- “What if they think I’m selfish?”
- “Am I really good enough to charge for this?”
- “Why would they pick me over someone else?”
But what if I told you that letting go of this cycle doesn’t mean you’re abandoning anyone? It means you’re stepping into your power finally.
What Happens When You Stop Over-Giving?
Imagine this:
- You have the energy to grow your podcast, launch your offers, and actually enjoy it.
- Your audience is so engaged they feel like a sisterhood—ready to buy, celebrate, and follow you wherever you go.
- Sales notifications roll in while you’re sipping cocktails on a beach, not glued to your laptop.
This isn’t a pipe dream. It’s what happens when you decide to stop second-guessing yourself and start focusing on YOU.
When you stop giving too much, you create space for:
- Clarity on what you really want.
- Confidence to sell unapologetically.
- Consistency in showing up as the bold, magnetic version of yourself.
How to stop to give too much to avoid second guess yourself?
The Root of Giving Too Much
Why do we do it? For me, it was about avoiding responsibility for my own dreams. It’s easier to focus on others than to admit I’ve been second-guessing myself. It’s easier to keep giving than to face the fear of failure or, worse, success.
Society has conditioned women to be caregivers, to be selfless. But here’s the thing: selflessness isn’t a virtue when it comes at the cost of your well-being. Giving too much is a coping mechanism, a way to stay small and safe.
Embracing the Power of No
Saying no doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you smart. Every time you say no to something that drains you, you’re saying yes to your own dreams. You’re giving yourself permission to focus on what truly matters.
It’s not about swinging to the opposite extreme and shutting everyone out. It’s about finding balance—where your giving doesn’t come at the expense of your well-being.
Moving Toward Your Dreams
When you stop giving too much, you start showing up for yourself. You heal the parts of you that felt unworthy, the parts that relied on external validation. You begin to trust yourself again, even if you’re still second-guessing yourself occasionally.
The truth is, no one else can fulfill you. No one else is responsible for your dreams. When you stop expecting too much from others, you free yourself to give in ways that feel good and aligned.
You next step
You don’t need a new strategy or a 10-step plan. You need to take a hard look at what’s not serving you.
- Say no more often. Not every opportunity is your opportunity.
- Invest in YOU. Hire a coach, take a break, or dive into that course you’ve been eyeing.
- Stop expecting too much from others. Validation starts with you.
It’s scary, yes. But here’s the thing: When you give yourself permission to focus on your goals, you stop running in circles and start building the life you wanted in the first place.
Conclusion
When giving too much holds you back, it’s not a reflection of your value—it’s a sign that you’ve been putting everyone else’s needs above your own. But you can rewrite this narrative. You don’t need to hustle harder; you need to start showing up for YOU.
Let go of the fear, the second-guessing, and the endless cycle of expectations. Because the version of you who’s sipping margaritas and seeing her legacy unfold? She’s waiting. And she’s ready.
Are you?
If you’re a service-based business owner, building a thriving business is about more than skimming through a blog post or trying out a few random tactics. It’s about creating a sustainable system that attracts clients to you effortlessly—on autopilot. And I’m here to help you make that happen.
Ready to take the first step? Join my free community on Telegram, where I share actionable tips, powerful mindset shifts, and storytelling strategies to help you grow your business without overwhelm. This is your space to connect, learn, and transform your approach to scaling. Don’t just dream about the business (and life) you want to start creating it today!
